First, just to lay all my cards on the table, I don’t think that there is a “one size fits all” kind of therapist or psychotherapy. Lots of studies have been conducted as to what makes for effective therapy and the number one thing is always - regardless of who or what is being looked at - is the relationship between the patient and therapist. So, you need to find someone who you can like, someone you feel confident about, and someone with whom you can be vulnerable.
Ways to do this include asking for recommendations from people you really like and respect (high chance of a good match, like a job referral) and googling for key search terms (example: psychotherapy+depression+men’s issues+location) to see who’s out there. Go with your gut about who to contact (you like their picture or the colors on their website). Insist on a phone call to screen potential therapists - this is hard to do in HMOs, but you can insist on it. Have your pitch ready: l’m seeking therapy to treat X and X. I’d like to talk with you about how you approach that kind of work, and I’d like to know what a session with you may be like. Listen to their voice: How does it make you feel? Are they engaging with you? Are they curious about you? Are they offering any reflections on what you’re telling them about yourself? If you feel good about the answers to these questions, it may be worth meeting with that therapist.
It’s normal to be nervous or unsure about therapists. Therapy’s confidentiality makes it opaque and difficult to know who is a good match for you. Every therapy process should be unique to the patient, imho. It’s also not unusual for therapy to be uncomfortable sometimes and to leave a session feeling confused, sad, or angry. But it should not really feel disgusting or violating - if those feelings come up it can be a sign of real danger and I would seek consultation with a trusted person who has experience providing or receiving therapy.
Does that help? I’m happy to provide some more tailored guidance via messaging if anyone wants it.